Well…..here we are at the end of Epilepsy Awareness Month. You have heard from me on being the wife of an Epileptic and what is the like for a spouse. Now let me intro you to my husband who has Epilepsy. He has struggled with this since the age of 12…he has been my husband for 30 years and has raised two sons, he worked at one point in the medical field, he drove a car, and he was very involved in many areas of life…and now find out where life has left him. Grab a cup of coffee and take the time to read his story ….right from someone who struggles with a chronic illness daily and sometimes hourly but has found a life within this life and is #beating the odds.
I really appreciate the opportunity to tell my story of Epilepsy in my life and what is like to live this life daily and hourly! Find out firsthand the life that some of us live and how I have adapted to a new norm.
For me it started many years ago… I guess I was about 10 years old. I had been asked to stay after school because of a problem. I actually had been in trouble at school for something … so when it was time to leave I jumped on my bike to ride home but I did it in anger.
When I got to the traffic light it was green for me…..but the car on the other side had a red light, and did not stop. Needless to say the car hit me and I went flying into the windshield with my head getting hit. I can only recall half way across the road and then waking up in the hospital.
Well I was pretty beat up with a dislocated my clavicle, got a big bump on my head and chipped my front tooth. They decided to keep me in the hospital for a couple of days under observation. At that time they could only diagnose me with what they thought was broken …the seizures were not noted yet. It wasn’t until a few years later that I had my first observed seizure…and that is where my story begins….
I sensed things from time to time….but it was not something that I could really explain. Not knowing that I had a problem…..I just dealt with it the best I could. It was a hard thing…not being able to explain to anybody what I was feeling or going through.
Not knowing what a seizure was ….I did not know what was wrong with me. It wasn’t until years later at college that I had a large enough seizure and finally got the help that I needed. After that….my life completely changed. One major thing that changed was that…. I learned quickly how people will treat you differently when they do not understand what is going on! People that treated me normal…such as family and friends….now treated me like the hardly even knew me.
People will avoid you for fear that something might happen while you are with them, they are afraid of what to do. People will just not talk to you since they don’t know what to say. People will talk about you only feet away as if you can’t hear them…..and yes I can hear you. They will ask my wife a question to avoid actually talking to me. I have said to my wife that it’s kind of ironic how some people seem to be able to understand if you have a sugar problem or something else wrong…and they seem to be able to cope with that better than people with a seizure problem. Don’t be afraid of us…..we are just like you with added personality in our life.
People are educated and seem to know the steps on how to care for a person that has a sugar attack or similar …..But when somebody has a seizure… people panic!!!!
I will say that it affects every area of your life, but I will not let it have power over me!!!
A quotation that has always motivated me is and that I live by…
“Look for the good times along the way .You can’t put off enjoying life, waiting for the day when epilepsy is no longer an issue.”
– Diane H. (Mother of patient)
Epilepsy has affected my marriage in many different areas. It has affected how I am as a father to my two sons and now daughter-in law. My sense of self-worth is something that I struggle with all the time and trying to fit in the mold of husband and father…..my self-worth takes a back seat.
It is hard to 
be the head of my home, and someone who my wife can depend on ….because many times my thoughts are not clear. I have days where I know exactly what is going on and then many days where I have to just depend on my wife and children to help direct me. As a man that is something that is unspeakably hard for me.
After years of struggling and many situations with my seizures…..It has gotten to the point where I finally had to go on full-time disability. Let me tell you from again a husband/fathers point of view….. it was a definite low point in my life and it took me a long time to get over it!!
I have found that having seizures has given me a unique perspective on life. I can relate to many people who struggle with chronic illness. The most useful perspective is with my youngest son who has Autism. Both he and I struggle neurologically with many things, I can so relate to him when no one else can. This has been a huge blessing for him and also for my wife. It gives her a sense of security…knowing that someone can honestly understand some of what our son goes through. There are times when both he and I have reacted to things because of our neurological problems and we can relate to each other. For instance when the weather is stormy… I know it’s going to be a rough day for me, and I know that it’s going to be a tough day for him as well.
One true blessing in the last three years of my life has been the moving to a new church! I have found a Pastor who accepts me …just as I am. He is aware that I have epilepsy…yet he is willing to work with me and in doing so this has brought back my confidence and self-worth that I had lost. He always keeps an eye on me and he might come over and say “are you okay?” but I know he has my best interest at hand. By him leading this way….it has shown the church that I am ok….it has allowed the church family to feel relaxed around me and my family.
It is still difficult though in many other ways. There are many times I have to use an electric scooter rather than walk and worry that I might fall at store
s or other places.
I am blessed have a wonderful wife and family, as well as a strong support group in my church… and some good friends who I can depend on. I would recommend to anybody that has any kind of health problems whether it is epilepsy or any other chronic illness to make sure that you have a good support group in your life…it WILL make a difference.
How can you help me and others with chronic illnesses….
- Don’t stare
- Don’t avoid me/us….come talk to me/us.
- Don’t talk as if we are not in the room.
- Don’t treat us like we are weird.
- Don’t act like if you touched us we will seize on you or that you will catch what we have.
- Treat us normal!!!!
- Treat us with respect!!!
- Remember we were created to be a unique person and to carry out the work that God intended. Don’t Judge us for that.
- Remember that people with illnesses are not being punished for past sins!
- Most of all remember we are a human being with families, lives and feelings. Treat us the same way you would like to be treated.
Feel free to comment below if I can help you in any way. My wife and I would love your feedback and to hear from you.
Thank you for letting me share my story and if you have not read her Blog yet on being the “Wife of an Epileptic”.…check that article out too.
Graeme M Wilson I – Husband of Resume of a Mother
alized when I started working that this was the only thing that kept me out of trouble from double bookings. I was working 3 jobs and of course trying to have a social life. Now fast forward to 30+ years later and here I am still using a planner to keep my sanity….but even better… I use several.
e day and something that I would classify as an accessory. In addition to classifying my planner as an accessory…I love bags (another sign of a planner nerd), earrings, scarves, shoes, bracelets and lipsticks (yes that was plural lipsticks). A planner to me is my life line…not only for keeping my schedule in order, but I faithfully use an A – Z file system for basic notes I need to keep for lists, journal notes, important info you just don’t know where else to store it…. and so much more.
Purple Personal size Malden Filofax. I must admit I am hooked on Filofax anything. I then use a faux Malibu by Franklin Covey for my house binder/planner; I have an A5 Color Crush for my blogs posts and a Travelers notebook that I tried using for my go to ….but now it stares at me for a purpose. I also have a small pocket-size Target planner that I use for my church schedule, notes, and ministries that I am involved in.
le in our home! Stickers and any other goodies that I can use…help me be as creative as I want to be. What goodies do you all use? Where do you like to shop?
I began decorating and using this outlet as a quick creative way to fill my crafter need. Since my days are sooo busy these days and time is short for crafts and scrapbooking…this fills the gap. I now enjoy scrapbooking and making junk journals which for me are much easier than the normal scrapbooking and I love to use Travelers Notebooks for my junk journals. It keeps in small and neat and simple for me.
washi etc… They are piling up and in light of connecting with other planner buddies….I am going to do a give-a-way . I am thankful for this creative outlet and I would like to bless someone with some goodies.
top of the aisle ready to walk down to be married….my father whispered to me….”you don’t have to do this”. He was reminding me that he had a long talk with me and that my life would be different, it would be hard, and we would not always know what was coming. He wanted me to really think about this decision and not jump into a marriage that was not a fairy tale. This
committment would be to myself, my future husband and children. It would be a life that I would choose and not forced into…..and it would be a life time committment and a vow.
This leaves situations for me to handle on the fly all the time. We can plan a family vacation, holiday or event and all of a sudden I am going it alone. I might have Graeme with me but mentally and physically he is really not there with me. This has left me many times….taking care of the kids and whatever else is needed pretty much on my own. Many nights I get home from work to find him quiet, depressed, or seizing…..so then my nights ar
e basically spent alone.
than most. We know what it is like to consistently tweak our schedule, routine, meds, family events and almost everything else. We know what it is like to just think that “we got it”, to find out we don’t…and what we thought caused the seizures changed again.
1 in 26 Americans will develop epilepsy in their lifetime. An estimated 3 million Americans and 65 million people worldwide currently live with epilepsy. Each year at least 200,000 people are diagnosed with epilepsy. In two-thirds of patients diagnosed with epilepsy, the cause is unknown.
2 Corinthians 5:8b (NLT)
there’s no place like home.” The older I get the more tender those words have become for me.
…and we needed to head out right after a long day of work… many errands were scheduled for that night. The rain and the darkness
now. Or even a person who is not well has referred to the fact that they just want to go “home”. Where is this “home” that they are referring to? That feeling or longing to go home to a safe, secure place, a place with a sense of freedom, a place so indescribable, but you know that you want to be there.
all it my home. Are you ready to go to this home if the Lord were to call you? Have you done your housework so to speak? Have you made things right with Him so that when it is time to go “Home”, you will be ready? As the verse above states…….for then we will be at home with the Lord.
She was born to the Wilson family over in the continent of Africa….while she was a very young girl, her parents, my in-laws became missionaries. She grew up on the mission field learning how to serve others, love people who many might not love and in doing this she found her love of children. Eventually she moved to New Jersey and her life continued in serving others and teaching children. Annette loved crafts and enjoyed being with her family and helping her mom with setting the Sunday table for the guests, family and missionaries that would come to “The Sunday Meal”, as they said in the family.
Annette’s last days were spent at a children’s camp where she was a counselor to them, a friend, a mentor and someone they could feel safe with and share their hearts. Annette was on top of a green grassy hill, sitting in the sunshine, and under a large tree. I can just picture her sitting there with her beautiful full red hair blowing in the breeze that day as she taught 5 or 6 young girls how to do needle work. All of a sudden she had a very painful headache and went to the infirmary for some meds and the rest is history. In that short moment in time….Annette passed from the green 
grass to the streets of gold. Needless to say shock was the term we all used and these young girls were left wondering where Miss Annette went.
Resume Of A Mother 