special needs mom

Autism and Routine….

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Routine is something hard to create and stick with in our lives….but it is a necessary thing.  I watch a You-Tube channel with “Andrea Mills”.  She talks about doing things routinely if they are important enough to you. Check out her website and channel for this topic and more.

https://www.andreamills.tv

With any type of special needs and we have two types in our family, I find as a homemaker that I need to create a way of organization for them; and not necessarily for me.  With epilepsy and Autism in our home, I find that this affects everything that we do!  For example, just leaving the house to go out for the day…we need to make a list on the back door of what we need to bring with us.  This way my husband who has Epilepsy, whether it be a good day or not, does not have to think about what to bring. Especially when it is an “off” day for him, he just looks at his list on the door.

(example list for the door)

  • travel bag
  • pills
  • water bottle
  • phone
  • phone charger

For our son has Autism.…so for his needs we have created labels in the refrigerator and also a routine of where to put things.  This way there is no frustration of where things go.  We also labeled where all of our coats go.  Again, this way it keeps things simple and organized!

We have created a “white board” system to help with all those daily questions that you find Autistic kids always asking.  They want to know what the next days meals will be 24 hours ahead of time. Our board includes 3 meals, 3 chores, 3 school events (we homeschool), and whatever the special event of the day is also.

This has proven to relieve many meltdowns, and crazy evenings in our home.  When he asks the questions that he always does by 5pm sharp, we can just refer him to the white board.

Special needs can be a struggle to the caregiver as well as the person who struggles with it.  Why not make life as routine as you can to avoid any chaos and confusion.  There will always be other issues to deal with, but when things are routine it helps out a great deal.

Lynn A. Wilson – Resume of a Mother

I can’t find my cookbook…..

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I know that I have been missing from the Blog scene for a while.  My plan was to have several blog posts per week, to be a huge encouragement to many of you and to get everyone excited about new things.  Well stop the train and let me off!!!!….

What happened to me is just crazy and somewhat simple to fix.  I needed to just get off the train….even jump if I needed to ….even when it doesn’t stop for me!!

If you have read any of my other posts than you will know how crazy my life is.  Seizures, Epilepsy, ADHD, Autism, full-time working mom, special needs wife and mom, blogger, speaker and the list goes on. But in addition to my normal crazy life I have been adding too many “sure I can help” etc… things to my schedule.

Life took over so much so that the “life train” ran so fast that I could not see what was happening to me.  I was simply enjoying life with my family, my work, my ministry…..but I kept on going, going and going.  My days would start at 5:30 am with getting up….then at work most days by 7 am.  Then home at 3 pm to pick up my son and husband and head out to an event that was carefully planned and something that we wanted/needed to do.  Next… run out for dinner….run to the next event, food shop, or help out someone else in need.  Then home anywhere from 9-11 pm…..change into PJ’s…..layout work clothes for the next day….hit the hay. Then start all over again. We have a phrase that we use all the time in our home….it is “drop and go”….we come in and “drop off” bags, misc things etc…. and then pick up the next several items that are needed and “go” to next event.

You can only do this so long….as I have been finding out. I found out how bad it had gotten for me when I went to make a recipe and I could not find my cookbooks.  On this day I stood in the room where they had been…then I remembered oh yes  …we moved them. So I looked and looked everywhere and I could not find them.  I felt like I totally lost the connection with my home, as a wife and as a mother….. how did I not know where something so simple was not where it was supposed to be. I walked away feeling down, discouraged and useless as the woman of my home.  You ask …was this simply all because of cookbooks?….Yes, this was a picture of who I had become and where my crazy life had brought me.

STOP the train and let me off.  I needed to spend the next few days reviewing why I had no idea even in my own small home, why I could not find my cookbooks.  What in the world was going on with me?  I thought maybe I am was just getting old, maybe I just needed a day off, maybe….maybe….NO, I had to take a good hard look at my schedule and make some major changes.

If you look at my planner….it is color coded, lines, circles, arrows pointing to numerous things.  Sticky notes on top of sticky notes with notes of “must do’s”, place to go, things to get done and some events noted that we have 3 or more things schedule at the same day and or time.

Well….the verse kept coming to me that I heard on a mini devotion from Andrea Mills on her You-Tube channel.  She explained the verse….”A wise woman builds her home….and a foolish woman tears it down with her own hands”.  Me talking to me….”Lynn grab hold”, stop the train, stop and write down priorities and what is really important to you! Right now for me it is important to stop being so involved in everything and regroup and gain control over the little things like cookbooks in my home.  This makes me happy, it makes me a better wife and mother, and it makes me a better Lynn.

I need to limit my “yes I can”…”sure I can add that to my schedule” etc.…. My husband and I sat down this week and reviewed what I need to tweak and reorganize in my life to satisfy both myself and our family. I must say that my life is not my own. My husband due to health issues cannot drive, and my son is too young and has autism and is not able to drive. So this puts me as the only driver. So the times where I would like to stay at home and get things done but they need to get to an event, puts me back in the drivers seat so my schedule becomes overloaded at times and not by choice. So updating my schedule, will not necessarily be an easy task with all that I need to include. And I go back to the verse in Proverbs… A wise woman builds her home and the Lord says if you lack wisdom ASK.  So I can pray, I can wait for the Lord to direct my steps, I can receive counsel from my husband and review my family’s needs and be the wise woman in my home that I have been called out to be! 

Hopefully….some of these changes in my life and schedule will allow me to blog and share some goodies along my life’s journey with you.  I still go back to my claim to fame….”I found my norm and it is a moving target”.  This seems to be a never ending reality in my life. Read my blog post about this if you haven’t already.

I would love to hear your comments where your life has brought you, and the changes that you have been able to make. What steps did you take along the way? Leave a comment below, and thank you for visiting with me today! 

 

Lynn A. C. Wilson – Resume of a Mother

 

 

 

 

 

It feels like Autism is contagious in our family…..

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Autism is part of img_7357our daily life…..and we are still learning every day what this means to be a family of special needs!  We adopted our youngest son 13 years ago and we had no idea the ride we were in for!

Gavin has Autism along with other disabilities which can make it hard to know which issue he is having and which disability it belongs to.  They are can actually run together to make for a fun day at times.  It would also take us on many adventures and journeys that as a family we never knew we would go on.

In the  beginning he had “quirks” as img_8847we would say since we didn’t know that they were linked to being Autistic.  Things like loud noise, certain movements, lining things up, repeated show watching, talking to trees in back yard, repeating lines from shows he has watched consistently, eating certain foods and putting them on his plate in a certain order…. and many more things. I am sure if you have someone in your life who is Autistic you can relate to the above and probably add so much more to this.

A funny thing happened along the way…we have found that we too can no longer handle a certain noise level, crowds make us uncomfortable, we use the large handicap bathrooms instead of the regular stalls for more space to move around in, I find I myself lining things up on my desk and doing little crazy things like lining up my pen cap to the writing on a pen and other unusual things. YIKES….he rubbed off on us, and we love it!!!img_0315

At first we didn’t even realize what we were doing and how we were changing….but then after looking back we can see it more and more how we have changed.  You know what the best part about this is for us….is that we can relate to our son.  Even through others see these things as usual, we find them to be a gift and a blessing to better understand him.

Our son lives in a world that he cannot always relate to…he lives in a world that is backwards img_0324and inside out for him.  I heard the other day on a TV Christmas program…that if you don’t fit into the box….then get another box! Yes, yes, yes……that is just what we all needed to hear.  Gavin’s box or life is his own special package and that is how he was created to be.  Could the Lord have stopped him from being this way, absolutely….but he chose Gavin to have this gift of Autism and we feel that he is rubbing off on us so that we can relate  & understand him better and others with disabilities. To be able to share some of his struggles and in turn try to can help him learn to adapt to this world we live in, by finding the right size box for him!

Do you have a loved one that has Autism or someone who does not fit in a box?  Share you story with all of us in the comments below….I would love to hear from you!!

Lynn A.C. Wilson – Resume of a Mother