autistic

Living with Autism #Autism Awareness

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We as a family live with Autism everyday and have for about 18 years. Life is different, life is crazy and life is full of Joy. We have learned how to navigate this journey, how to make a life full of successes and how to teach our son to be the best he can be and to be the person he was created to be. Come hear our frustrations as well as our JOYS that we have experienced. This month of April is Autism Awareness and this video can help if you have Autism, live with someone with Autism or if you just want to get to know about this unique life.

Lynn A. C. Wilson – Resume of a Mother

Autism…. Learning about the ”WE” and not the “I”

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When you have a special needs person in your life, it is always a learning experience. As the saying I use goes, ”I found my new normal and it’s a moving target.” Our youngest son is now seventeen and it took me about twelve years to finally start to understand how he thinks. The funny thing is, once I started to get the ‘we not I’ way of thinking, it helped me understand why some of my extended family members act and react the way they do.

Let me explain a little. The bottom line is this, when you say to someone with Autism, ADD, ADHD or something similar that they need to be to bed earlier since they woke up so early that day, usually you get a fit and a large argument. But if you say that we all woke up early and we should all go to bed early, that one individual seems to calm down and agree with you.

In our home we have learned to be creative and use we more than I. Yes, some might say that we are giving in, but we say why have an argument when you can just change the wording and make life a little easier?

Do you struggle with a special needs family member? What have you been able to do with changing one or two words?

Here are some practical tips we use to help the day a little better:

Things to do and say:       

  • Include yourself and talk as if you are a group.
  • Speak clearly and only use the facts.
  • Smile and be kind.
  • Make eye contact and smile.
  • Use kind speech and words.
  • Respect them as you would anyone.
  • Remember God created them unique.

Things not to do or say:

  • Don’t single them out.
  • Don’t use figures of speech
  • Don’t joke: jokes to them are insulting (even the most simplest joke is not the same for them)
  • Don’t expect the same in return when it comes to eye contact. (eye contact for them sometimes can be overstimulating)                                                                                                   
  • Don’t yell or use harsh words (a soft voice goes much further with them)
  • Don’t treat them with disrespect….they are people too.           
  • Don’t treat them like they are weird.

We are all unique in our own way and have been wonderfully made. Your uniqueness might make you just as strange to someone else as they are to you.  Remember to be kind and respectful to each person you encounter. Most of the time we can navigate life much better that way.

Lynn A.C. Wilson – Resume of a Mother

 

Welcome to my home and life…

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Life is definitely a journey and an adventure if you know anything about me. Every day brings new and exciting things and also some overwhelming moments. For the past two weeks my husband has had two major falls from having seizures which led him to be in the chiropractor’s office 2 to 3 times a week plus having to have physical therapy and wear a back brace.

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Because of this we decided to take a quick weekend away that we called a Saturday vacation. While on this vacation he had a seizure, his scooter that he uses to get around in large places died in the middle of the museum. This led to us having to push it out of the museum, to loading it in the car manually, and causing me to be completely overwhelmed and having to have a good cry.

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If you asked me is it all worth it I’d say 100%. If you asked me what I marry this man again I would tell you absolutely 100%. He is the man of my dreams and if he comes with an extra package called epilepsy …I wouldn’t change a thing. Now having said all that… I have stated over and over it many times that I have found “my new normal and it’s a moving target”. so what does all of this mean, for me there is no normal, normal is only for a moment and that changes again. And I am OK with that. I’ve had to learn to be OK with that… Otherwise I would not have survived life and all that has been part of it.

This is made me in the long run realize how precious life is, it is giving me the desire to encourage other women and their walk and their journey, it is also encouraged me to invest in peoples lives whenever I can.

But having said all that… I have a new journey in life and an adventure and that is my YouTube channel. Come and join me and come and visit me and see what this crazy life entails. I hope you will find encouragement along the way, maybe some new ideas that you’ve never thought of before, maybe a few laughs, but most of all I hope that you leave feeling a little bit better about yourself, a little bit more encouraged than when you first started to visit with me.

Lynn A. C. Wilson – Resume of a Mother

YouTube Channel name: “At Home with Lynn Wilson”



Hands on Events for Autism….NO JUDGEMENT ZONE!!!

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Well we are here and sitting at a museum with about 200+ Autistic kids and their families. WOW!!!!! This is an adventure to be with so many family and now friends that we have made.

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It amazes me while I sit and watch the differences in each individual who has autism or on the spectrum! My son for example has changed so much that next to most of these kids he almost seems average. There are families with kids having meltdowns of all ages. Kids wearing head phones to lighten the sounds and other kids walking in circles or having stemming issues. But all in all to watch all these levels get along and come along side of each other with NO JUDGEMENT!!!!!

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YES… I said no JUDGEMENT!!! Just the other day I had someone tell me point blank to “put him on a diet”. My son is far from needing a diet….his only thing is …is that he is tall. Then only a few days later I have someone tell him right to his face “did your head fall in a bucket of paint”. Yes he tinted the top of his hair red… and I ask you where is the crime in that?

What a JOY to be part of this awesome support group here in New Jersey!! We have been part of this group for about 5 years now. Some of the events have a charge and some are FREE like this one tonight.

Tonight our kids can run free through the hands on museum designed with sensory play stations of all kinds. From a restaurant to a climbing wall, a TV station to a doctors office, a pet shop to a nature center.

Our sons favorite is the basketball and dinosaur room.

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If you are not part of a support group you need to be!!!

Lynn A. C. Wilson – Resume of a Mother

Surf Ups… Autism Day!

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Many people are misinformed and have a distorted view of Autism, disabilities, and what can be achieved! We have told our son he can do anything he wants… he might need to do it in a different way, but he can do it!

We are blessed here in New Jersey with several organizations that help people with disabilities and Autism. We have an organization called POAC, NJ Autism Warriors and organization that has come to New Jersey for this event in particular called “Walk on water”.

This day was created entirely for people with Autism and disabilities to have the freedom to feel the Atlantic Ocean surround them… to allow them to learn how to surf with a professional by their side… and to allow them to have the opportunity to know that they can do anything when they put their mind to it.

I have personally never surfed, but I have a few friends who have, and they said that there is nothing like riding a wave and the freedom it allows you to feel.

These kids were blessed one by one with riding the wave, winning an award, having a day set aside just for them and the list goes and on.

For one day they felt like they could be like everyone else. For one day they could feel proud. For one day they could feel like they were “all that”.

We were blessed to have such a special and awesome day for our family!!!

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Horses…therapy… & Autism. Finding peace!!!

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We had been invited for the past couple of years to go horseback riding with one of our Autism support groups. It always seemed to fall on a day that either I had to work or we had other events going on, and honestly I didn’t think much about it. For some reason this year I felt compelled to make a point of attending. I was absolutely amazed and blessed after we went to see how beneficial it was!

This particular horse ranch is designed to assist people with any sort of disability and will teach them how to ride a horse in a safe environment. The trainers are certified and definitely know how to handle children with Autism! Our son found peace, he found joy, and I watched him actually be able to relax and be calm like I had never seen before. If you know anything about Autism in children this is very unusual!

When we arrived they gathered all the kids together and then they had them pick out their helmets for protection, before they could ride a horse. They then divided them into two groups and each group needed to find a buddy. Our son was in the first group… We started on the other side of the barn, where he was able to learn how to care and feed a horse.

Gavin was able to brush a horse named Lady, he was able to feed a horse named Terminator, he was able to talk to a horse named Finn and it was amazing to watch him and Finn together. The horse just stood there ever so kind, as Gavin just continued to talk and talk and talk to the horse. I watched a gentle and loving side of Gavin come out as he was able to connect with this beautiful animal.

In addition to brushing the horses and feed them…the kids were able to get some great lessons on the care of a horse in general. They then brought them to the next room where they lined up to have the opportunity to ride a horse.

One by one they brought them in and saddled them up with a horse based on the size of the child and the size of a horse. Once they were on the horse, two of the trainers walked them around three times in a very large enclosed barn. Gavin was able to also ride a horse as he did a gallop around the barn, which was a real treat!

I saw a different spark in Gavin’s eyes… this day was a huge blessing to him and I can truly understand why these beautiful animals are therapeutic.

We will continue with horseback riding lessons in this next home school year and Gavin also would like to volunteer there one day a week as well. Looking forward to some new adventures!

Lynn A. C. Wilson – Resume of a Mother

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Autism and Routine….

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Routine is something hard to create and stick with in our lives….but it is a necessary thing.  I watch a You-Tube channel with “Andrea Mills”.  She talks about doing things routinely if they are important enough to you. Check out her website and channel for this topic and more.

https://www.andreamills.tv

With any type of special needs and we have two types in our family, I find as a homemaker that I need to create a way of organization for them; and not necessarily for me.  With epilepsy and Autism in our home, I find that this affects everything that we do!  For example, just leaving the house to go out for the day…we need to make a list on the back door of what we need to bring with us.  This way my husband who has Epilepsy, whether it be a good day or not, does not have to think about what to bring. Especially when it is an “off” day for him, he just looks at his list on the door.

(example list for the door)

  • travel bag
  • pills
  • water bottle
  • phone
  • phone charger

For our son has Autism.…so for his needs we have created labels in the refrigerator and also a routine of where to put things.  This way there is no frustration of where things go.  We also labeled where all of our coats go.  Again, this way it keeps things simple and organized!

We have created a “white board” system to help with all those daily questions that you find Autistic kids always asking.  They want to know what the next days meals will be 24 hours ahead of time. Our board includes 3 meals, 3 chores, 3 school events (we homeschool), and whatever the special event of the day is also.

This has proven to relieve many meltdowns, and crazy evenings in our home.  When he asks the questions that he always does by 5pm sharp, we can just refer him to the white board.

Special needs can be a struggle to the caregiver as well as the person who struggles with it.  Why not make life as routine as you can to avoid any chaos and confusion.  There will always be other issues to deal with, but when things are routine it helps out a great deal.

Lynn A. Wilson – Resume of a Mother

Minimalism…Simple….Simplify-where does life have you?

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What does this mean to you?  Minimalism comes to my mind. So many of the younger generation are going this way.  Many of them have watched their grandparents and parents collect things over the years so they now have taken up with the new trend of “less” is better.

I do find that the old saying…“less is more”, can be true!  But what is less?  I have watched some “extreme” shows, where they will have a beautiful “large” house and only have a mattress on the floor, 1 dish, 1 cup, 1 fork…you get the picture and they seem truly seem happy. This is not the life that I want.

I have a friend who LOVES to collect things…did I say loves it.  She collects any and everything that you could imagine.  She has now gone through her collection and resized it.  To most people…you would still say that she has a lot of “stuff” but to her …she has simplified her life in her own way with her collections and she is a happy girl.

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In my life…which is full of special needs and most days cioas….I need “my” type of simple.  Let me explain. My husband has Epilepsy and my youngest son as Autism…..for me this changes my life on a daily basis.  I have always enjoyed a full schedule of events, lots of involvement in family, work, church and life in general.  I like lots of hobbies, things, stuff, and decor in my home etc…I like to enjoy life as I see it….but then life doesn’t alway fit what I like!!!

Recently in my home….I have had to simplify things. Less stuff, less things and to be more practical and less nostalgic. This has been very hard for me but as I get into it …it does becoming easier. I need to create a very practical world for my two men. I need to label where things go in the refrigerator and label whose jacket goes where etc… And yet find a way to make my home still seem special and pretty to me and our guests we invite over.

Recently with my schedule….I have had to simplify that too. How do you take a girl who LOVES a full schedule and adapt it to “SIMPLE” one…so that I meet the needs of my family as well as myself.  I have and am still learning how to balance life ….I really don’t know how to explain that in words with exactly I am doing. I probably need to do a VLOG on a day in the life of me.

This might not be “minimalism” to some, but for me I need to carry a planner, snacks, change of cloths, meds, water, essential oils, band aids etc… in many different bags.  I have a travel bag, pocketbook, workbag, church bag etc…each one is filled with what I would need for that event and the extras for that “just in case I need it” moment.  This works for me….my car is full of bags stuffed with stuff.  But all this stuff to me equals an organized, simplified and simple way of living.  To me my life is now not full of stressful moments and I don’t have to think as much when life takes over and craziness begins. If you have anyone in your family with special needs you would understand. We never quite know what’s going to happen at a given moment and having these extras with us at all times and organized in designated bags for that particular event definitely helps.

Simple is defined by YOU and only you.  We should not jump on a trend just because!!! Yes, we should evaluate our lives and simplify them… but this does not mean throw everything out that you own, and live in a sleeping bag.

God has given and blessed our family many times over with things and not necessarily money…I need to use what I have, simplify what I buy and sometimes bless others with my overflow.

Remember to enjoy life and where life has you. I know that this is a unique way of looking a “simple life” but it is the way I do it.  How do you do it..leave a comment below.

Lynn A. Wilson – Resume of a Mother